i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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