id be glad to
I skipped work to stalk him.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
