whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
