Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
