Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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