The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
