One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize