if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize