We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
