i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
