Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
