I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i permit you to call me
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
