You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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