The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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