well I can't set my house on fire every night
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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