my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You're earring is so big in my mouth
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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