i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
