I think i sorta joined a cult last night
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
