YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
