I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
