So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
