The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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