Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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