Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
