Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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