Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
