I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
