So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
