Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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