i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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