I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize