i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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