and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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