I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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