Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize