Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
