me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse