Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.