3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
Cake is only good when you eat it
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!