Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
