Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
