we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
