She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
