Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
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Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
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Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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