My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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