He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
