Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
