something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
