Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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