I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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