OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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