These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
