i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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