I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
