i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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