Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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