How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I want a musical about memes.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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