Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
