How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
