..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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