Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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