Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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