Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
